Actionable Strategies for Leadership and Success with Mel Robbins
Part of a series | Women@Work Series
During her keynote session at ADP's 5th annual Women@Work event, author Mel Robbins talked about the power of detachment, how to beat motivation and leading well.
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The Let Them Theory
Mel Robbins — #1 New York Times Bestselling Author, creator and host of The Mel Robbins Podcast — discussed her Let Them Theory at length in her keynote session with ADP Canada's President of Major Account Services, Laura Brown, at Women@Work. The Let Them Theory is a principle that offers a unique approach to managing relationships in and out of the workplace. Essentially, it's the concept of letting go of any efforts to try to control others and their actions, thoughts or feelings.
"It's a simple mindset tool that immediately reveals to you what's in your control and what's not," says Robbins. "And here's how you use it. If you're in a situation where you feel yourself getting stressed out, hurt, annoyed, worried, whatever, frustrated by traffic, by somebody else or by the 11th Zoom meeting of the day at work and you feel like you know the volcano coming up, you simply are just going to say to yourself, 'let them,' and when you say that, you literally are practicing detachment theory, Stoicism, Buddhism, the serenity prayer. In two simple words, you are basically separating yourself from other people's thoughts, behaviors, moods, and actions."
But the Let Them Theory doesn't stop there. After thinking "let them," Robbins encourages people to turn inward and focus on what they can control. "Then you say the second part," says Robbins. "Let me remind myself that there are only three things in life that I can control: what I think about what's happening, what I do or don't do in response, and how I process my emotions."
Toss motivation out the window
When it comes to advancing your career and making changes in your life or in your workplace, Robbins' advice is not to wait until you feel motivation strike but to act before you feel ready, even if you struggle with overthinking or imposter syndrome. "Motivation is complete garbage," says Robbins. "If you struggle with confidence, if you struggle with imposter syndrome, if you chronically overthink everything, you're going to fall into the same trap I did, which is making the mistake of believing that at some point you're going to feel confident. At some point, you're going to feel ready. At some point, motivation is going to come. And when it comes to changing your life, growing a business, or becoming successful in your career, you have to force yourself to do things before you feel ready."
With Robbin's advice in mind, consider jumping into that thing you've been wanting to do but just haven't worked up the courage for. Success hinges on actions, not feelings, so don't wait. Waiting on motivation can lead to missed opportunities.
Leading well
When it comes to leadership, Robbins emphasizes just how important a leader's energy is for the well-being of the rest of the team. She calls it "bringing the weather," and it's something she learned later in life. "Your mood, your attitude, your energy and your mindset set the tone for how the team is going to feel."
Instead of letting your moods and attitude be determined by how the business is doing or what went wrong or right that day, Robbins says there's power in managing your own reactions to the ups and downs so that people feel safe around you.
"Are you the person who, when there's an issue with the customer, gets triggered and agitated, and now that's going to impact how the team is managing things when people bring you a problem? Do you scorch the earth with people? (Which only trains people to hide things from you, by the way.) Or do you control your own mood, attitude and reaction so that you train people to believe that you're exactly the person they should come to immediately when something's going sideways?"
Want more?
Robbins and Brown covered many more topics and practical strategies for real-life and work situations. Watch the whole session on demand for more advice and inspiration.
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